Missing Pieces
by StarChibi
Summary: Lengthened Songfic... Missing pieces always turn up when you stop looking for them... HK


A/N: Oh, the shame. I got the idea for this while was doing the ironing and, to my eternal shame, watching the Australian Idol concert on TV. Argh! I cannot believe I actually watched that! Oh, the horror! I turned on the TV at the end of the… what's the chick's name.. can't remember, the one that quit 'cause of her vocal chords, managed to watch it through Shannon Noll and struggled through Guy Sebastian's song and got depressed and turned it off when it started on his next song. Bleagh. That was the first time I've watched the Idol series and God, people wonder why I watch anime?  Anyway. Shannon Noll sung this song and I thought, "that'd be a cool song to write something about… who does it fit? Oh yeah, Hiei and Kurama!" So, even though I'm not a big fan of the KxH pairing (I think they make cute best friends more than lovers, myself) I wrote this anyway. And I haven't actually seen the end of the series, but I know Hiei goes to stay in the Demon world (hmph, leaving poor Kurama by himself- what was he thinking?!) and that's about it. So I was kinda vague. Forgive me ^_^ And I have no idea how old Kurama's younger brother is, so I made it up. The song is by Crowded House, Better Be Home Soon .

DISCLAIMER: I don't own YYH, I don't own the song, and I only write this because I have no life and don't get any money for this.  I don't own Murphy's Law either.

LANGUAGE NOTES:

Niichan- older brother, affectionate.

-chan: affectionate suffix

-san: polite suffix, kinda like "ms" or "mr" in English, denotes respect

Tadaima: I'm home

Okaeri: Welcome home.

Baka kitsune: Hiei's Japanese nickname for Kurama- stupid fox. 

ONE LAST BABBLE: I use dot-dot-dot a lot, but for some reason when I put this up it didn't want to have three dots and just one. I fixed it with some help from Dragon Fire Angel but it still looks a little odd. Ignore it. Thanx for the tip, Dragon Fire Angel, looks like it worked ^_^ 

* * *

**Missing Pieces**

The return home had been a nice one, or at least Kurama knew it should have been. His mother and little brother came to pick him up from Narita airport and drove him home, his younger brother telling him enthusiastically about his first year of middle school. Kurama listened with his usual amused smile, laughing in the right places and, as always, accurately picking out the right places to tease his brother into blushing a colour to rival a fire hydrant.  His mother listened with a wide grin on her face, and Kurama sat back in his seat cushioned by the warm of the heater and happiness. He wondered if everyone was back… Yuusuke had come back before Kurama had left for England, but still wandered off occasionally, as he was given to do, what with being a spirit detective. But Hiei… no one had seen him for nearly six years…worn out from the long flight and telling his precious mother and brother about London, Kurama fell asleep.

'Niichan?' his brother asked, leaning forward from the back seat to try and see his brother's face, titled gently towards the window.

'He's asleep, dear,' his mother said. 

'Don't call me that mum, I'm fifteen!'

'Sorry, dear,' Kurama's mother grinned, showing more in common with her eldest "son" than she realised. 

'_Mum_!'

Kurama finished unpacking and lay down on his bed, putting his hands behind his head and staring at the white ceiling above his head. He didn't know how he'd done it, but Yuusuke had somehow managed to turn up just in time for dinner- along with Keiko-chan, Kuwabara, Yukino-chan and Botan. It was made stranger by the fact that Kurama hadn't actually called any of them and told them when exactly he'd be home, which lead Kurama to correctly conclude that his mother had called them. She worried about the fact that he seemed alone most of the time, in his own private universe. Kurama had slept most of the day, but while it had made him feel better it had totally thrown his body clock out- he couldn't sleep, even if it was two am. He got off the bed and sifted through the gifts some of the friends he had made in London had given him… he picked a CD at random and stuck it in his player, only then looking at the cover.

Crowded House. He almost laughed, and then stopped and stared at the wall. That wasn't like him. bitter laughter. Crowded House... yeah, he was home now. His mother had driven him back to his apartment, and they'd all come over.. and his brother had school tomorrow, so they'd gone, now. Alone by himself, and playing Crowded House. Kurama caught himself in mid-snicker, pressed play, and went to have a shower. He had a horrible feeling he was getting depressed, and there was no call for that sort of thing over one person who hadn't showed up to welcome him back after his year-long exchange trip… hell, he probably hadn't even known he'd gone. He didn't know what England _was_- and probably wouldn't care, either. 

_'We haven't seen Hiei in ages,' Yuusuke had said, apparently out of nowhere once the girls had fallen asleep and Kuwabara was off drunkenly singing in the background. Kurama had glanced at him, but there was nothing but there was no ulterior motive in Yuusuke's eyes, just the simple fact he was updating Kurama on the status of a friend. _

_'Even I didn't stay away this long,' the boy had continued, slurping his sake. 'I'm gonna kill him when he gets back!'_

_'I haven't seen him either,' Kurama had said, swirling the clear sake in his glass. 'Not since he left.'_

_Yuusuke had looked surprised, but hadn't said anything more. He was older now- he only put his foot in his mouth half the time._

Kurama tilted his head up and let the hot water splash over his face, trying not to think, but horribly aware that even though everyone, bar one, had come to welcome him home…

...he still felt sad, because there was a piece in the jig-saw of his life that was lost, and no one knew where it was. And... it was one of those critical ones that made everything seem all right…

The first snow fell late that year, but when it did it fell thick and fast, covering everything in powdery white stuff and making the whole city look like a big Christmas decoration. Kurama stood in the park, enjoying the prickly feeling of the cold on his face, turning his cheeks red and his eyes brilliant green, snug in his red parka. Kurama watched the misty clouds of his breath puff into the frosty air, not really thinking about anything much, which was a nice change. 

'-wanna ice cream!'

Kurama blinked, jerked out of his dreamy state but the high-pitched insistent voice in front of him. A small child of indeterminate sex that appeared to be all woolly bobbles and had with those floppy ear things Kurama had never leant the name of was waving it's free, thoroughly wrapped up hand in the air while it's mother held the other.

'Ice cream? It's _freezing_!'

'Wanna ice cream!' the child insisted, jumping up and down a bit to emphasise his point. Kurama blinked and smiled in amusement as the mother continued to tug her woolly ball of a child along.

'No, dear.'

'I'll eat the snow,' threatened the child, evidently recalling what it could recall about hygiene, which mothers seemed to be very keen on. 

'You do that, dear,' said the mother, earning a few points in Kurama's book for strategic mothering. What could be seen of the child's face as they continued through the thick snow looked puzzled, and then, in the way of children faced with something they didn't understand, almost totally changed the subject.

'If you put sugar in snow, do you get ice cream?' it asked, and tripped into a deep bit of snow. It giggled as it's mother pulled it out and picked it up, resting it on her hip.

'Sweet snow!' it giggled, as the mother brushed most of the snow off. 'Sweet snow!'

Kurama felt his heart-rate pick up as he watched the giggling child and mother leave.

_Sweet snow…Hi-_ a snowball smacked into the back of Kurama's head hard enough to knock him down. He picked himself out of the snow and rolled over in shock. Yuusuke grinned at him from across the park and waved.

'Hey Kurama!' he yelled. 'What the hell are you doing, sleeping with your eyes open?!'

Kurama picked up a handful of snow, grinning nastily. Yuusuke didn't quite get away in time.

'Hey, mummy, look, the people are having a snowball fight!'

The mother looked, and sweatdropped. The sight of college students having a full-scale snowball war was not a usual one.

'Yuusuke!' shouted a blue-haired girl, running up furiously and getting smacked int the face with a snowball. Botan's eyes burned with the flame of revenge, and Keiko grinned nervously, ducking on Kurama's warning and letting her boyfriend get smacked in the ear with a snowball. 

'Hey Botan!' Yuusuke sniggered, but his grin faded as Botan stormed over to where Kurama was, compacting snow between her hands in a scarily business-like manner.

'Er… Botan-chan?' Kurama asked nervously.  He couldn't remember when the girls had become "chan", but he'd known them for a long time now… fought for them, rescued them, been alongside them…friends, now, not figures to be worked with and for and left behind with life, because they all moved together, now. Botan had taken to letting her hair fall around her shoulders recently, and now she flicked it over her shoulder.

'Let's kill him,' she said, turned, and threw the snowball. 

The snowball fight was fun, and it held off the loneliness for a while. Dodging a snowball, Kurama wondered why he felt lonely, when he was here, having fun with people he knew were his friends. He believed in them, trusted them, knew them better than they knew themselves, a lot of the time. He wasn't alone. And yet… somehow he was. 

'We're losing!' Botan squealed, as Kurama helped her out of the pile of snow she'd fallen into. Other people had joined the fight, and the park had become a battleground. It was Yuusuke…somehow he drew people to him. Here, in a big city, where people kept to themselves and charged along blindly, they'd been drawn towards the fight and were having fun with people they didn't even know the names of and had never met before, and probably never would again… of course, the funny thing about this was that while there were technically teams, no one knew which one anyone else belonged to and so it'd become a sort of free-for-all. How Botan had decided they were losing Kurama had no idea. 

_Sweet snow, huh… _Kurama fought down the urge to go away, find somewhere to sit by himself, hug his knees and sink into thought, bittersweet thoughts about sweet snow and loneliness. Even if he wasn't along, because some part of him was, the part of him reserved for one person that you couldn't give to anyone else, because it didn't belong to them... no one knew about that piece. That part was alone…

...and it was hurting worse, every day, now. 

'Kurama?' Botan asked. Kurama blinked, and looked at her worried face.

'Ah, sorry. I guess I just spaced out for a bit.'

Botan gave him a disturbingly searching look and then nodded, looking around.

'Where's that stupid Yuusuke gone? Oh, there-' Botan stopped and stared, along with Kurama, as a snowball, blurred with speed, rocketed past them and smacked Yuusuke hard enough to knock him off his feet and into a snowdrift. The surrounding people gawped. Recognised as the strongest fighters on the field, Kurama and Yuusuke had either been exclusively targeted or avoided by the other players- no one had managed to pack a hit that hard, and seeing as this was Yuusuke in competitive mode- Kurama could only think of one person, seeing as Kuwabara (who'd turned up on his way to the shops) who could do it. He looked around wildly. And thought he caught a blur of black to the left. He started to run in that direction, then hesitated and glanced over his shoulder. Botan was giving him a knowing look.

'Go on,' she grinned, and scowled playfully. 'He's avoiding us after all this time! He should be severely punished- I think not letting him be by himself ought to be good enough.'

Kurama grinned and sprinted off in the direction he'd seen the blur go. Normally, he was the most patient with his habit of running off and being by himself, generally sneaking around in the shadows. But six years, the pain was worse-

-_Hiei… you'd better come back…_

Kurama didn't go back to the park. He walked into his apartment, stripping off his cold, wet clothes as he went, throwing them aside, uncharacteristically not caring where they landed. He turned on the shower and stepped into the hot water. After a long time, just standing there, he slammed the side of his fist into the wall, biting his lip and screwing his eyes shut, sliding to his knees and ignoring the pain in his hand. Blood tricked over his skin and dripped down the tiles, mingling with the water and turning pink. 

He knew he'd seen him. He'd felt his presence, nearby sometimes... but always running away. He'd used to run, but he'd give up by then and let Kurama catch up… or just turn up. Kurama screwed his eyes shut as his eyes burned. He wasn't going to… cry… this had happened before, lots of times, he always turned up when he wanted to…he was being irrational, Kurama suspected, and he knew he thought too much. But he couldn't stop.

_Somewhere deep inside  
Something's got a hold on you_

Kurama stopped in mid-dress, and then pulled his shirt over his head and glanced at the CD player. He must have hit it, but he didn't remember turning it on… still that happened when he was thinking too much about something, and turning on music had become automatic lately, trying to drown out the thoughts in his head and the pain in his chest that shouldn't have been there.

_  
And it's pushing me aside  
See it stretch on forever  
  
_

Kurama collapsed onto the bed and listened, hands supporting his forehead. The English words made sense… he'd always been quick to pick up things like languages. He'd had centuries to pick up the knack. He wished he could say the same thing about finding missing jigsaw pieces. 

_I know I'm right  
For the first time in my life  
That's why I tell you  
You'd better be home soon_

Botan hurried along the cleared footpath, as fast as she could without slipping on the patchy ice. She was staying with Keiko and Yuusuke at the moment, and they had a nice, small and above all warm house that Botan really wanted to get back to so she could get some feeling back into her fingers. As she passed the park, though, Keiko skidded to a halt- literally. She squealed as the ice threatened to take away her footing completely. By some miracle, she managed to stand steady again, and she glanced at the figure sitting in the snow at the base of a tree, just… staring, really. At nothing. 

_Stripping back the coats  
Of lies and deception_

Arms folded, hanging loose over drawn-up knees, chin resting on his forearms… Kurama had frost in his hair, and showed no sign that he noticed any of the people passing by him. Kurama wasn't a loud person by any standards, but he wasn't an anti-social one either. He was happy enough by himself, but this was different… this was him wanting to be alone because he was thinking too much about being alone, which had never made any sense to Botan but she knew how to recognise lovesickness when she saw it. It had been a frequent topic of conversation between her and Keiko-chan recently, to the astonishment of Yuusuke- his observation abilities rivalled that of an ostrich with its head in the sand. Mind you, _then_ he'd scratched his head and said,

'Y'know, sometimes I did wonder…' 

Botan rolled her eyes at the memory and crossed the road. Kurama was centuries old, or at least, Youko was.  He'd probably had countless lovers… but Botan suspected love wasn't something any of Kurama's personalities had come across, or at least not romantic love. Kurama wasn't the kind of person who didn't understand his own heart, and he wasn't given to falling into the abyss of loneliness in any case, but instead, he just seemed to... be going off somewhere else. Remembering, trying not to, wondering, and probably generally thinking too much. Botan scowled at a tree without really seeing it- the tree had done nothing to deserve such treatment, developed an inferiority complex  and wished it could call for counselling. 

'Kurama?' Botan said, leaning on her knees. 'Kurama!'

Kurama blinked and looked up.

'Oh, Botan-chan,' he said, smiling. Slow, sweet, like usual… and sad. Botan frowned inside. 'I didn't see you.'

_Back to nothingness  
Like a week in the desert_

'I gathered,' Botan said, holding out her hand. 'Come on. You'll catch a cold sitting here in the snow, demon or not.'

Kurama smiled weakly, knowing he'd been caught, and let her help him to his feet. No, he wasn't alone, he knew that. There was just a gap that needed to be filled. Like a jigsaw puzzle with one piece missing, all the other pieces fit together and weren't alone. But the puzzle wasn't finished without that one missing piece…

'Botan-chan.'

'Mm?' Botan said, keeping a friendly grip on his hand and swinging it playfully back and forth. Kurama smiled at her actions. Somewhere along the line he and Botan had become friends, not people who worked together. He could talk with her, because Botan liked to talk about things, help people, philosophise… just talk, about everything. And she knew when not to talk, which was a gift too few people had. 

'How do you find a missing puzzle piece?'

'You mean like for a jigsaw?' Botan asked, and Kurama nodded, letting her half-drag him along, still playfully swinging his hand like they were children in a park somewhere. Botan thought, and flashed him a grin over her shoulder as they turned down the street.

'In my experience, when you stop looking for them they just turn up. That's the way of things, y'know?' 

Kurama blinked, and then smiled faintly. Yes. That was the way of things… he didn't want it to be, but no one did, because having a puzzle finished except for one piece was so frustrating, and you looked and looked and looked…

...but as soon as you stopped, it would turn up. Botan gave his hand a friendly pat, and opened the gate to Yuusuke and Keiko's house. Snow began to fall again, floating down in crystal-white flakes. 

'Why don't you stay for a bit?' Botan suggested, pulling him along the path and up to the front door anyway. 'We're putting up the Christmas decorations today, and do you know how to make Christmas cake? We heard that in the West they have a really rich, fruity kind of cake and Keiko thought it would be fun to try it, but it's not really-'

'-I know how to make it,' Kurama said, some of the tension draining away as Botan opened the door and announced their arrival at the top of her voice. 'I was in England for Christmas, and a friend taught me, gave me a recipe for it…'

'Great!' Botan beamed. 'KEIKO-CHAN, KURAMA KNOWS HOW TO COOK!'

'I'm glad _someone_ does,' Yuusuke commented from the couch. Kurama blinked, and started laughing as the girls attacked him.  

'Stop laughing and help me, Kurama!' Yuusuke yelled, and was smacked in the face with a pillow. Kurama chuckled, shoulders shaking.  Yeah. Missing puzzle pieces always turned up. 

_I know I'm right  
For the first time in my life  
That's why I tell you  
You'd better be home soon_

Kurama was walking home, when he noticed something strange about his apartment when he saw it from the end of the street. He couldn't work out what it was…and then it clicked. The window to his bedroom was open. Kurama broke into a sprint and didn't even bother with the gate, reaching up and putting one hand on the wall and vaulting over it. He ignored the lady across the street's gasp of shock and raced up the stairs. He flung open his door and wrenched open the door to his bedroom. He stared at nothing.

_So don't say no, don't say nothing's wrong  
'Cause when you get back home maybe I'll be gone_

A few snowflakes had come in, and his curtains swirled gently in the breeze. Kurama leant on the table, taking deep breaths. Of course. What had he been expecting? Well, he knew what he'd been expecting, and he also knew it was stupid. Kurama checked that nothing around had been stolen, and shut the door. He glanced at the melting snowflakes in puzzlement. Something wasn't right... oh yes. It had only just stopped snowing. He'd stayed overnight at Yuusuke's, but the snowflakes were only just melting. Which meant that the heater hadn't been turned on for hours and the door had been opened recently. Nothing had been stolen. He was sure he'd locked the door. Kurama felt a smile tug at his lips, walked out of his room and opened the freezer. He pulled out a tub of ice cream and pulled off the lid. He put the lid back on and calmly put the tub back into the freezer and then checked the contents of the fridge. He stared at the wall for a while, and then slid down to the floor giggling, then laughing, laughing because he had to. He laughed until he cried, and then he just cried.  The puzzle piece had indeed turned up, only it had gotten bored and wandered away again, Botan-chan. He wondered what Botan's expression would be if he told her that, and played with the idea for a while before discarding it. No. Too out of character. 

_When the nights go down  
When you've had your fill  
When there's nothing left_

Kurama left the house again, and didn't lock his bedroom door. He couldn't be bothered. He couldn't be bothered about anything much. He didn't pay any attention to where his feet were taking him, pieces of puzzles floating through his mind as the freezing cold numbed it. He was acting like an _idiot_. He felt like an idiot. He felt _worse_ than an idiot, but at the same time he just couldn't get up the strength to be his normal self.  He'd just... float, thinking about everything and nothing. 

_It would cause me pain  
If we were to end it_

It hurt. Kurama was damn sure an unfinished puzzle shouldn't cause this much pain, but an unfinished puzzle was... well… unfinished. Unlike pieces of stiff cardboard, hearts need to be whole to work properly. It started snowing, and got heavier, but Kurama didn't notice. He wasn't even sure how me managed to avoid cars and people afterwards, and put it down to instinct, steering him along without him knowing. He could try and find him, hunt him down, as such, but… Hiei would probably resent that. He had to feel like he was free to come and go without people trying to pull him back.

No, if he was going to be pulled back… it had to be of his own accord. Maybe Kurama could help, but it had to be Hiei who gave up and let himself be pulled back. You couldn't drag him. He'd never forgive you. 

As far as Kurama knew, jigsaw pieces didn't come with their own sense of gravity. 

He almost laughed. 

_  
But I could start again  
You can depend on it_

Well… maybe. He remembered the people he'd- Youko- had been with before. Lovers, yeah. Lots, shamelessly so. Love was foreign to Youko, with the exception of his partner. And that kind of love wasn't the same as this. The honking of a car horn right next to him on the road slewed through Kurama's dreamy, slow-moving thoughts and he glanced to his right, watching the terrified child panting on the side of the road. He must have run in front of the car. He was lucky it hadn't skidded on the ice.

'You little idiot!' the driver yelled. 'You couldn't been killed!'

'Sorry!' the child stammered.

'Sorry?! Say that to your parents when you get home!'

The child blinked and then nodded, hurrying off. Kurama wondered if the child had understood or just nodded out of terror. The car started again, and Kurama resumed walking, one foot after the other, more a stumble as he progressed than a walk. It was cold… very cold. He should get inside. 

Jigsaw pieces, strewn everywhere

Jigsaw pieces, all together

One missing, always missing

Find it when you stop trying to.…

Jigsaw pieces…..

_I know I'm right  
For the first time in my life_

Kurama blinked. His apartment looked back at him. Kurama blinked again, and then coughed as the door swung shut behind him. He looked around, rubbing his sore throat. He'd ended up back at home. 

'Tadaima,' he muttered as he padded through the kitchen and into his room. Honestly, what was the point in saying "I'm home" if no one was there to notice? Kurama passed his bathroom on his way to bed, and then backstepped. His bathroom joined onto his room, and the mirror faced the door. 

Oh. That's why it had been so cold. He hadn't put on his parka.

_That's why I tell you  
You'd better be home soon_

Kurama grinned humourlessly at himself and turned on the heater. He got into his pyjamas and walked across his room to lock the door. He blinked and looked down. He ran his bare feet across the damp carpet. It was cold.

Like melted snow.

Kurama glanced at his untouched room and then padded out, into the kitchen. He looked around, and then spotted the black coat hung over the clotheshorse he used to dry his clothes in winter. It dripped melted snow onto the carpet. 

Kurama did not own a black coat. The redhead padded silently over to his couch, and peered over the back of it. He blinked, stared, and then smiled._  
   
That's why I tell you…_

Kurama folded his arms on the back of the couch and rested his chin on them, smiling at the figure sleeping on his couch, eyes shut, looking the most comfortable and relaxed Kurama had ever seen him. Kurama reached down and wiped some melting snow out of Hiei's frosted black hair. A mahogany eye cracked open.

'Okaeri,' Kurama smiled. Hiei looked at him, and rolled over.

'Baka kitsune,' he muttered. There was a long silence, and then Hiei said, '_You're_ the one who just came back.'

_  
You'd better be home soon_


End file.
